Friday, June 19, 2009

We are in this together

12 step programs are becoming a part of my family...I am exuberant right now, although I know there more than likely will be more tough times ahead I also feel there is soooo much hope.

My son is the shining example, he has been involved in AA for a long time. He has taught me and shown me the way. That is partly why I chose FAA for me. Now my daughter who has her own addiction: different from mine, different from my son's and a hard one to beat, has just completed her 2nd meeting at GA. That is Gamblers Anonymous to any one who does not know the lingo. The toughest addiction of them all. I am bursting with pride right now. She seems totally sincere and so serious. Just as my son's recovery has taught and inspired me, my daughter, I know will be doing the same. I hate the pain my children have suffered. I know my wounded side has contributed; my own sickness insecurity, suffering in turn caused them suffering but it is a chain that can be broken. There is always hope, we are all in this together and I know we can fight it together as well.

I joined her at a meeting last night and it is apparent to me the gamblers have suffered greatly and this suffering has taught them; those who make it, to be even stronger. These people’s stories are painful, long suffering and scary. Their recovery in turn is strong and their hope even stronger. They acquire this from fellow members, often more of a family than their own family. They all need each other and they know it like no other addiction sufferers.

Alcohol and drug addiction happened due to the nature of the product, but a lot of gambling addiction is a planned, carefully orchestrated addiction, who’s “pushers” have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on experts in the field of Psychology of the mind to program these places and their machines to do something to the brain that mesmerizes and transfixes the addict’s minds beyond normal attraction.

Since I am not a gambler I do not understand it to any extent, other than from an addict’s perspective. I do not want to sound as if I am speaking from experience because that would be unfair to those who do live in the addiction. I only listened and learned and came out with more understanding.

I do know they have rules of what not to do to quell the impulse and that is the same for a food addict. I know support and a sponsor are necessary and I also learned most of all that giving service, helping others new in the program is the greatest reward of all.

It definitely made me rethink my commitment to all the tools in my program too. I knew I was going to learn from this experience and know that I will be giving my daughter all the love and support I can.

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